confessions of a sleep-deprived therapist

I’m back in LAlaland, but my heart is still in San Francisco.

What can I say? I just love that city. More than anything else, I think it’s because it is the first city that I really explored on my own, joyfully getting lost in its rollercoaster streets and finding more of myself in the process. And it probably helped that I have the best cousin in the world who’s gracious enough to let me stay in his apartment, even if I must’ve driven him nuts on more than one occasion (gracias, gracias Kuya Bill).

~

Work is pretty much the same, I still have a lousy schedule and I’m procrastinating on a huge bulk of my paperwork. This week was very difficult though, I can’t seem to go back to the rhythm of things after 12 days of ‘going with the flow (as in Csikszentmilhayi)’ and indulging my creative side. To make matters worse, I haven’t been sleeping very well lately, I either fall asleep early in the evening and end up waking at 2 in the morning, or I spend most of the night tossing and turning and eventually falling asleep at dawn. And as most of you know, a sleep-deprived therapist is definitely not a good match for kids who are bouncing off the walls.

Yesterday, I had to put a kid in a ‘time out’ for the first time. I thought he was repeatedly defying my instructions, I was very tired and at my wit’s end, so I took our game away and ignored him for 5 minutes. I felt awful afterwards, especially since he looked like he was about to cry eventhough he was trying really hard not to let me see it. The poor kid must have been scared because I never acted that way before.

Now I wished I could have been more patient with him. It could very well be that he was just being playful and silly or maybe he couldn’t hold the prone position for long that’s why he kept sliding out of the barrel, but insensitive me just saw it as an act of defiance. Whatever happened to the promise that I made for myself that I will help create meaningful spaces for my kids in therapy, and now I’m making a kid feel bad about himself instead?

Oh dear, this is not good. I'm distracted and weary and I'm turning into an angry therapist that I swore I will never become. I think I need another vacation, haha.
Guatemala, anyone? :P

2 comments:

  1. your crazy!!! LOL. From your cousin.

    ReplyDelete
  2. i take after you, mi primo! :D

    ReplyDelete