this quiet corner

It's been raining non-stop here since I got back from the Philippines and at the rate its going, I have a feeling that I won't be seeing the sun until February. Unfortunately for me, its been really hard to go back to the swing of things and not wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning, and all these gray skies and rain is not helping either.

How do you go from two completely different worlds anyway? If I close my eyes, I can still see the sun, feel the sand between my toes, smell the sea, and then I look around and see people bundled in winter clothes and I tell myself that here is where I am now, this is my other reality.

Times like these, I tend to surround myself with the little things that make me happy. A cup of coffee. Books. Poetry. My camera. Paper, lots and lots of paper. Music and film, in a language that I don't understand. (I hardly watch anything without subtitles these days).

I watch my cousin's dog find the coziest corner in the room to snuggle into while I fight the urge to stay under the covers and dream of sunny days. Its awfully easy to do that, to stay in this in-between state, and go through the motions without being actually present. But that's not the way I am. Nor do I want it to be that way.

And so it goes.

The city is helping though. Everyday I see something that reminds me of why I choose to live here. I drove across the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time in more than a month, watch the fog slowly erase distant ships, and held my breath. Even the middle of our darkest winter, this city still holds its spell over me.
Sausalito, taken on 1.23.10


  1. Oh-dessa, I know just what you mean about the struggle to stay present, or to keep on going when you can't get present. Keep on keeping on.

  2. Man, it seems like this winter is just trudging on forever. I also can't wait for the sun, warmth and trips to the park without freezing to death.

    But I do know that leaving the city and then coming back to it with fresh eyes helps me fall in love with it again...until I'm stuck outside in 19 degree weather.

  3. The fog is one of the things I miss about the Bay Area. Everyone complains about it, but I think it's romantic! (I live in sunny LA, so of course the grass is always greener.)