everything's not lost
I wish I could tell you that all is bright and beautiful in my corner of the world right now. I wish I could tell you about this flowery hill by the beach, how I stained my shorts when I sat on the grass to have my picture taken, how the wind blew my hair out of its tight bun, how I walked barefoot on the sand, digging my toes in, feeling the earth. I wish I could tell you more of this sweet afternoon.
But the truth is, I'm really angry right now and its hard for me to think about anything else. Or perhaps angry is not the right word. I'm more disappointed. Yesterday, someone stole my wallet at one of my elementary schools. It took me a long time to accept that it was indeed stolen, that I didn't just drop it somewhere, or leave it behind. I've been at this school for 4 years now, I've always left my bag at the same place, and its disconcerting to even think that one of our students or any of the people that I work with on a regular basis could look through my personal belongings and steal something.
I feel betrayed. The sense of community and belonging that I feel in this little school is now gone and that's what hurts me the most. That, and well, the painful process of going to the DMV, getting new IDs, and cancelling all my credit cards.
But hey, at least they didn't take my laptop or my phone or God forbid, my entire bag with my journal and my planner and everything else that helps me function on a daily basis. It could have been worse. I have to think about that. Or else I'll just go crazy, replaying the events that happened throughout the day, thinking about the people who went in and out of our room, wondering, wondering.
And at the end of the day, I guess what matters more is what we have, here and now, not the things that we lost.
Photo taken at Half Moon Bay, 4.25.10