everything's not lost


I wish I could tell you that all is bright and beautiful in my corner of the world right now. I wish I could tell you about this flowery hill by the beach, how I stained my shorts when I sat on the grass to have my picture taken, how the wind blew my hair out of its tight bun, how I walked barefoot on the sand, digging my toes in, feeling the earth. I wish I could tell you more of this sweet afternoon.

But the truth is, I'm really angry right now and its hard for me to think about anything else. Or perhaps angry is not the right word. I'm more disappointed. Yesterday, someone stole my wallet at one of my elementary schools. It took me a long time to accept that it was indeed stolen, that I didn't just drop it somewhere, or leave it behind. I've been at this school for 4 years now, I've always left my bag at the same place, and its disconcerting to even think that one of our students or any of the people that I work with on a regular basis could look through my personal belongings and steal something.

I feel betrayed. The sense of community and belonging that I feel in this little school is now gone and that's what hurts me the most. That, and well, the painful process of going to the DMV, getting new IDs, and cancelling all my credit cards.

But hey, at least they didn't take my laptop or my phone or God forbid, my entire bag with my journal and my planner and everything else that helps me function on a daily basis. It could have been worse. I have to think about that. Or else I'll just go crazy, replaying the events that happened throughout the day, thinking about the people who went in and out of our room, wondering, wondering.

And at the end of the day, I guess what matters more is what we have, here and now, not the things that we lost.

Photo taken at Half Moon Bay, 4.25.10

9 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that happened. I hope that you feel better and have a good weekend.

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  2. I'm so sorry to hear that! The worst part of getting something stolen from you is the feeling of violation I think; it's sad to hear that this happened in a place among people you trusted. :/

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  3. I am so sorry to hear this news and that it happened at work.

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  4. oh no. :( try to remember, one person did it and hundreds of others are still worthy of your trust.

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  5. I'm so sorry, Odessa. This is awful. You are right that it could have been worse, but I can understand why you're angry. Thinking of you.

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  6. des, thank you for your kind words.

    goldenmeans, thanks. and you're right, i did feel violated and its a hard feeling to shake off.

    nyc/caribbean ragazza, thank you. yes it makes it harder because i go there 3 times a week. but i'm feeling better now.

    holly, thanks. i do know that, but the incident is still maddening.

    julie, thank for your kind thoughts.

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  7. what a huge bummer. i'm sorry to hear that! hope you're feeling a bit better about it by now and hope the process of getting everything back won't be too painful.

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  8. I'm sorry. These things'll happen, but you're stronger than them.

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  9. angela, thanks. it really wasn't that bad but i haven't gone to the DMV yet so we'll see.

    inkgirl, thank you.

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