a quiet unfolding

belle&seb2

You are beginning to fold up in your own single way.
You feel your edges move toward center,
your heart like a folded blanket unfolding
and folding in with everything contained.
Right this second, my room smells like the forest floor, a combination of fig, mistletoe, and fresh mint. When I close my eyes, I can easily imagine that I'm in a little cabin in the woods, wrapped in the coziest of blankets, writing my heart out. Reality is much less idyll. I'm still bundled up and typing away, my favorite scented candle burning deliciously in the background, though instead of a quaint woodsy room, my place is strewn with papers, books, and clothes all over.

I spent New Year's eve having a lovely dinner at a friend's house but didn't go dancing with them afterwards. Instead, I went home and spent the last hour of 2010 in a quiet creative pursuit, thinking about everything and nothing, vaguely listening to the faint sounds of distant fireworks mingled with the rain.

So it goes. 2010 was a year of learning, of having the courage to do those things that I've always wanted to do - ballet, learning a foreign language, dressing up more, loving and accepting myself in the process. Had I told my awkward 20 year-old self who I'd become 10 years later, she would have laughed in my face and said no way. It took awhile to get here but I've finally come to a place where I don't think too much about what others think of me anymore and focus on just being me.

And now its a new beginning, a new decade. I'm excited to see what 2011 will bring, wrote my wishes in a small piece of sticky note and taped it on my journal. I really, really hope that one (or two) will come true.

P.S. Thank you so much for all your birthday greetings and lovely comments.

2 comments:

  1. looking forward to reading more about your little resolutions for 2010 ! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. hi idleglory,
    thanks for visiting and welcome.

    ReplyDelete