last day of spring

(or first day of summer, for some of you)

This afternoon, while I was driving back from the coast, I felt panicky for a moment. I don't know if it's that 'full feeling' that you get when the sky is too blue and the light is so dreamy that it is almost too much, or it might just be that summer is already here and I want to do so many things and I'm afraid that I won't get anything done, but I definitely felt it in my chest and I had to roll down the windows, turn off the music, and take a deep breath. Then the moment passed and I was feeling like myself again.

Meanwhile, that manuscript I'm writing, I'm lucky if I can get a paragraph or two down each day. I have this notebook where I write down scenes and dialogues, character sketches, plot ideas and key phrases but I'm still trying to establish a routine so I can get the actual writing done.

Meanwhile, my Instragram is now ought to be called flowergram, with all the flower photos that I have been taking lately. I can't help myself, I want to stop for every blossom that I see. Today I was taking photos of these pink roses when the most beautiful cat came out of nowhere and into the frame. What is it about cats that make them so mysterious and wise? (Here is the photo)

Meanwhile, I have yet to catch up on letters, e-mails, and phone calls. Ever since I read this piece by Jonathan Safran Foer at the New York Times, I've been thinking about how technology have affected my relationships and emotional connection with others. In a lot of ways, the internet made it possible for me to connect with kindred spirits that I wouldn't have met otherwise but at the same time, it is also a huge distraction and a black hole of mindless browsing. This is the reality of the world that we live in now and finding the right balance is key.

And in all these, there are the little joys:
Borrowing books from the library again.
Watching a screening of a short film made by my former student.
Finding this Pride and Prejudice copy at a used bookstore.
"Talking" to one of my favorite authors on Twitter.
Feeling giddy while writing a scene between my main characters.
Camera Obscura and their new album, Desire Lines.

8 comments:

  1. Just a quick remark -- the copy of the book isn't Jane Eyre but P&P.

    YEY for Camera Obscura!

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    1. Amelia, oops...thank you for pointing it out! And yes..Camera Obscura is such an amazing band. If you get the chance, I hope that you can see them live.

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  2. You know, I think writing two paragraphs a day is a perfect amount to start with. I used to beat myself up that I wasn't writing 5000 words a day like I'd heard some writers do but then I read that someone who decides to take up running wouldn't be able to run 10 kms right off the bat without any practice. They have to build up to that distance over time, and it's the same with writing. Just keep at it.

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    1. Thanks, Annelise. Yeah, I'm pretty hard on myself too. But you are right, I just need to keep the rhythm going.

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  3. How coincidental that you mention Jonathan Safran Foer. I'm actually reading "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" right now. He's an amazingly talented writer.

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    1. I have that book, too. And still need to read it. ;)

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